10 Rules for Better Office Politics

‘D’ja ever clap when a waitress falls and drops a tray of glasses?’ and ‘Don’tcha feel all warm and cozy, watching people out in the rain?”

Here is a new word for you or your office:Mudita.

‘D’ja ever clap when a waitress falls and drops a tray of glasses?’ and ‘Don’tcha feel all warm and cozy, watching people out in the rain?” That’s schadenfreude.

These lines are taken from Avenue Q, the musical based on Sesame Street; there is a brilliant song called (funnily enough)schadenfreude. Most people have heard of the term schadenfreude, where pleasure is derived from the misfortunes of others. Some say it is a global office sport. A New York Times article cited a number of scientific studies which it is defined as, ‘delighting in others’ misfortune’. Many such studies are based on social comparison theory; the idea that when people around us have bad luck, we look better to ourselves.

There is another way to find happiness – being able to be happy for someone else’s success. It has a name too:Mudita. Gaining pleasure in life illuminates our own feelings about success and happiness and also the possibilities of our own success and happiness. Some would call this altruistic (unselfish) joy. It is amazing and could revolutionise your office.

Have you ever felt upset for no reason at all when a friend achieves something you have always wanted? If someone else’s happiness or achievements bother you, even when it has nothing to do with you, you’re probably experiencing jealousy. In one way or another, virtually everybody dreams of standing out, being admired, acclaimed—even, well, applauded. To be viewed and to view ourselves, as merely average or adequate really doesn’t do very much for us, or rather, our ego. This may be all the more so because we live in a meritorious society that refuses to celebrate or lavish praise on individuals unless they’re judged exceptional.

This circumstance explains why we may experience a certain envy when we hear drums bang for someone else. Secretly, we long to hear a drum roll beating for us. Although we might be jealous of someone’s accomplishments, we may have a different yet very equal set of achievements. Similarly, we might find happiness and success in different roads that can never be compared, but are still equally as important. We can be jealous of somebody’s life and admire them at the same time. We can be happy for them without compromising our own happiness.

We can still reach higher and higher whilst helping others achieve their dreams too. Jealousy is inevitable but will blind you and force you to spend hours fantasising about circumstances that’ll never materialise. You’re still going to be the same person you are now even after whiling away hours or days in jealous thoughts and ideas. Understanding how to stop being jealous can help you control your own life and live better.

Which makes your own recognition all the more important. More often than not, people don’t—or won’t—acknowledge you for your contributions and accomplishments. Which may seem a little strange since almost all of us have hopes for such recognition—one reason, perhaps, that the expression fishing for compliments is so well-known. But though it might seem intuitive that people would be more than willing to give what they would greatly appreciate getting themselves, this typically isn’t the case. When complimented, we’re likely to glow internally. Praise from others whose authority we respect serves to verify our sense of inner worth. Such external approval is especially important for those still plagued by self-doubt. If someone does tale the time to be positive and compliments you, remember to say, ‘Thank you. I appreciate that.’

10 Rules for Office Mudita

Start by becoming aware. It is helpful to examine the consequences of jealousy and envy. Be honest with yourself when you notice your thoughts and feelings heading down a negative path. Usually jealousy comes from fear. What are you afraid of? Almost always, jealousy stems from a deep fear that you may never achieve the same thing. The more you are jealous, the more you are convincing yourself that you will be no good. Turn that jealousy into determination, without ever giving up and you will definitely stop being jealous all the time.
Look for success in others. When you see another person’s win as a loss for you, you pave the way for discouragement and resentment to set in. Instead allow other people’s success to ignite hope for the success coming in your time of harvest.
Stop comparing yourself. In this world where everyone’s lives are open for all to see through social networks, it’s easy to constantly compare yourself with your peers and competitors. In the office this canlead to believe that youa re not as good as someone else. This triggers theschadenfreude impulses.
Your own achievements matter. Celebrate your own achievements, however small they may be. Rome wasn’t built in a day. You can’t hate someone else because they’re famous or earning a lot more than you are. At some point, they were in the same place as you.
Make more opportunities to be happy. Rejoicing with others creates an opportunity to multiply the good times you get to celebrate. By seizing every chance to sincerely congratulate other’s on their success, you are creating an atmosphere for others to be willing to celebrate your successes.
Passion for life. Love yourself and respect your own life. If you’re not happy, choose a new career path that you love. When you respect yourself, you won’t get jealous anymore. You may be envious, but not jealous because you believe in your own capabilities.
Start with the people you love. It might be difficult to get instantly excited about the lives of strangers. However, you can start by focusing on the people closest to you. For example, cheer with enthusiasm when your cousin wins an award, your friend gets a promotion, or a BNI colleague successfully closes a deal
Stop wishing you were someone else. You are not. You will not become someone else with wishful thinking. Unless you consciously work towards achieving more, you’ll spend the rest of your life bitter and fragile because your happiness doesn’t come from your own success, but from watching someone else’s downfall.
Shine a spotlight on someone else. Keep in touch with what is going on in the lives of the people around you. Others may be bashful about mentioning their own victories but still appreciate having their efforts recognised. Super power time.
Be Amazing Every Day. Be confident and pursue your own dreams. Jealousy is a way of accepting failure. Why are you jealous? Don’t you think you are capable of achieving the same pleasures as the object of your jealousy some day? Jealousy is your mind’s subconscious way of giving up and whining about how unfair life is. Don’t succumb to it. Instead, go out there and prove that you are better. Be Amazing Every Day.

So what do you do when you see someone thriving with the opportunities, recognition, clients and wins that you want for your life or business? Mudita! You can learn to celebrate other people’s success. If you master generating genuine happiness for other people, not only will you find a cure for the envy, which can sabotage your success, but there are additional benefits as well. The words of the Buddha are powerful reminder of the power of Mudita,

Here, O, Monks, a disciple let’s his mind pervade one quarter of the world with thoughts of unselfish joy, and so the second, and so the third, and so the fourth. And thus the whole wide world, above, below, around, everywhere and equally, he continues to pervade with a heart of unselfish joy, abundant, grown great, measureless, without hostility or ill-will.

Be Amazing Every Day

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