Base Jumping Barnacle Goose: 12 Ways to Beat the Contender Syndrome

Comparison is the greatest obstacle to happiness. Some may argue that it is in reaching for a nest too high in the tree.

Comparison is the greatest obstacle to happiness. Some may argue that it is in reaching for a nest too high in the tree. You may know the French proverb: petit à petit, l’oiseau fait son nid; which means little by little, the bird builds its nest. Now consider this remarkable footage of the base jumping Barnacle Goose. Within the first few hours after hatching a Barnacle gosling must make a giant leap from it’s cliff top nest, falling over 400ft in order to reach the ground below. The evolutionary strategy that provokes this strange behaviour, is considered in this stunning BBC film Life Story with the mesmeric Sir David Attenborough.

You don’t understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let’s face it. It was you, Charley.

In the 1954 classic film On The Waterfront, Brando plays a slightly dim-witted ex-boxer, working on the docks of Hoboken’s waterfront. He is challenged to step up to the mobsters who control the longshoremen’s’ union by appearing before a state commission as witness after his lawyer brother and best friend are ‘rubbed out’.

Marlon Brando’s ultimate film line: I coulda have been a contender.

This is, in fact, an example of a film meme (trope) called retirony (portmanteau of retirement and irony, though how much of the latter it has is up for debate). It is especially cruel when it strikes a character down in his or her prime just as he or she begins embarking on success and glory.

In the ‘real world’, we now have the Contender Syndrome. While this phenomenon is not a clinical diagnosis, the feeling is quite common, especially with the proliferation of social media and the exposure of the general fabulousness of other people’s lives. Social comparison theory states that we determine our own social and personal worth based on how we stack up against others. We gauge our own success against that of others, at least in part, and we always compare up. Those of us who have had more opportunities may wind up feeling that much worse.

As a result, we are constantly making self and other evaluations across a variety of domains (for example, attractiveness, wealth, intelligence, and success). Most of us have the social skills and impulse control to keep our envy and social comparisons quiet but our true feelings may come out in subtle ways.

It is a deep part of human nature that we compare ourselves to other people. A particularly interesting kind of comparison is theupward comparison in which you focus on someone you think is better than you in some way. When you make an upward comparison, there are a number of different emotional reactions you might have.

Envy is a toxic emotion, says former Zen Buddhist monk Josh Baran, because whatever the yardstick, money or appearance or reputation, someone will always outdo you. “When Ted Turner’s worth dropped to a billion dollars,” Baran says, “he wanted to kill himself.”

The contender syndrome is subtly different from envy. For better or worse we’re all habitual self-evaluators. This raises questions concerning our perception of personal worth and how we value a human being. This has to do with self-esteem, self-image, ego, and the awareness of our existence.

Some people spend a lifetime clocking their non-accomplishments and dreaming of a big break. Maybe by rejecting the goal of self-esteem and pursue instead the more realistic and practical goal of self-acceptance in our lives.

If you aim to be a participant, rather than a star, you go a long way toward being a contender, whatever you do. If you’re doing something positive in the world, if you’re productive, if you’re a player, then you’re a success. What society needs is people showing up every day and working as best they can. A lot of things we call talent are just time on the task. Or, as Thomas Edison said:

Success is 10 percent inspiration and 90 percent perspiration.

We can choose to go through life striving to be a success for all the wrong reasons; or we can accept that we are unconditionally worthwhile, and strive for success for all the right reasons.

12 Tips to Beat the Contender Syndrome

Learn to Love the Life you are Living
High Status Does Not Equal Happiness
Work Smart, Not Just Hard
Find the Ideal Niche
Be the Star in a Subculture
Keep a List of Proud Moments
Practice Some Downward-Facing Comparison
Construct a Dazzling Back-Up Plan
Choose Your Competitive Realms Wisely
Let Envy Motivate, Not Paralyze
Know Your Talents (And Limits)
Curb the Comparisons

There are the 2 key strategies to consider when beating the Contender Syndrome.First, keep an open mind about change. If you put in the effort, then your performance will improve. Second, when you compare yourself to others, it is fine to envy what they have, as long as you use that envy to make yourself better rather than to tear other people down.

Remember the Barnacle Gosling. You can be Amazing Every Day.

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