What They Didn’t Teach You in School

Metacognition and the 4 Simple Actions for Success.

Dec 1 2014

Can you imagine your gravestone having your ‘net worth’ carved in it? I hope that you genuinely can’t imagine that; so what would you like on the headstone?

We belong to a remarkably quirky species. We are unique, as a species in understanding metacognition. This is often described as the process of ‘learning to learn’ and what it means is giving individuals a range of strategies they can use to monitor and improve their own development. Being engaged in metacognition is a salient feature of good self-regulated learners. The activities of strategy selection and application include those concerned with an ongoing attempt to plan, check, monitor, select, revise, evaluate, etc. I have been training people in this technique for years and it is currently coming to the attention of a wider audience.

Our lives are inundated with practicality and productivity. We think that if there’s no purpose to something, there’s no point in doing it. In my own personal journey of trying to be a better person, I realised that it was all about aiming to be Amazing. Nothing more, nothing less. When you are Amazing, you’re effectively better in every aspect of your life. When I coach and train individuals and groups I am encouraged by the powerful changes that result. There seems to be some universal themes to this change and many people report that they have been dealing with these problems since school. This email from one of my clients to another potential client, explains this further,

‘I hope things are going ok for you there, actually I hope they are going better than ok – but if not, then I have a man I’d really love to introduce you to, he has been training me recently and I have to say that I feel that his insights have been nothing short of revolutionary for me. Things that seem really simple and obvious, but which I did not know. I think 2015 is going to be my year of getting my life back. I am confident that 2015 is going to be the year I get my life back, and you know how long it has been since I have said anything like that.’

You know how you can hear something a hundred times in a hundred different ways before it finally gets through to you? That powerful understanding is what clients seek and really want. Many are challenged by the fear of change. Their need to embrace change and realise it happens for a reason is one of my first objectives. It won’t always be obvious at first, but in the end it will be worth it. What you have today may become what you had by tomorrow. You never know. Things change, often spontaneously. People and circumstances come and go. Life doesn’t stop for anybody. It moves rapidly and rushes from calm to chaos in a matter of seconds, and happens like this to people every day. It’s likely happening to someone nearby right now.

I always start my training and coaching with 4 Simple Actions; simple life lessons that many of us likely learned years ago and have been reminded of ever since, but for whatever reason, haven’t fully grasped.

1. Change Your Physiology First. Stop being a headless chicken (Kinesis) and learn to use the power of Eustress. Learn to breath properly and reduce stress, and increase eustress. Being busy does NOT mean being productive. Busyness isn’t a virtue, nor is it something to respect. Though we all have seasons of crazy schedules, very few of us have a legitimate need to be busy ALL the time. We simply don’t know how to live within our means, prioritise properly, and say no when we should. Being busy rarely equates to productivity these days. Just take a quick look around. Busy people outnumber productive people by a wide margin. Busy people are rushing all over the place, and running late half of the time. They’re heading to work, conferences, meetings, social engagements, etc. They barely have enough free time for family get-togethers and they rarely get enough sleep. Yet, emails are shooting out of their smart phones like machine gun bullets, and their day planners are jammed to the brim with obligations. Their busy schedule gives them an elevated sense of importance. But it’s all an illusion. They’re like hamsters running on a wheel

2. Take Action Now: Excellence, Always. Thinking and doing are two very different things. Success never comes to look for you while you wait around thinking about it. You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do. Knowledge is basically useless without action. Good things don’t come to those who wait; they come to those who work on meaningful goals. Ask yourself,

What’s really important to you?
Have the courage to build your life around your answer?
How would you explain what you do to someone new?
What is your remarkable point of view in 8 words or less (R POV 8)?
If you got run over by a bus, could you guarantee that your successor is better than you are?

3. Become a Brilliant Listener. Are you a good listener? The chances are are very high that you are not and that you’re getting worse. Some people are very good at speaking, telling their stories and being able to inspire others. But being a good listener is often more important than speaking. It gives a deeper level of understanding about someone’s situation, and helps to know what words are best to use and what words should be avoided. Nothing is more important than the ability to listen. It is a subject that can be studied and mastered:

Are you a PROFESIONAL … listener?
Are you a PROFESIONAL … at hiring?
Are you a PROFESIONAL … at evaluating people?

4. What You Own is Not Who You Are. Material goods that you may or may not have are not relevant. It has absolutely no bearing on who you are as a person. Most of us can make do with much less than we think we need. That’s a valuable reminder, especially in a hugely consumer-driven culture that focuses more on material things than meaningful connections and experiences.

So imagine what you would have on your gravestone now. What really matters? What will make you say,

2015 is going to be my year of getting my life back?

Be Amazing Every Day

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