Dance Like Nobody’s Watching
Sarah Jons 
I have just returned from an extraordinary industry conference at the NEC in Birmingham.
I have just returned from an extraordinary industry conference at the NEC in Birmingham. Chris Parnham, chairman of the HBAA, the trade association for the hotel booking agency, apartment and venue community, was responsible for an excellent and rewarding experience. I was honoured to try to make everyone in the audience be amazing (everyday). Apart from the joy of transmitting my distilled wisdom, I got the audience to dance and let their hair down.
Sing like no one is listening. Love like you’ve never been hurt.
Dance like nobody’s watching, and live like it’s heaven on earth.
I have always loved these words and used to attribute them to Mark Twain and / or Satchel Paige. They actual originate from Come from the Heart, a country music song written by Richard Leigh and Susanna Clark and published in 1987. Come From the Heart.
Dance like nobody's watching is an extraordinary mindset and one I have challenged myself to follow. For inspiration, I watched the ultimate: a dance in an airport. The young lady in this goes by the name of Angela Trimbur. She set up the camera, presses play on her iPod and then goes crazy… and dance brilliantly – like nobody's watching, in fact – to the song 'Telephone' by The Black Angels, slap bang in the middle of Los Angeles LAX airport.
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.
-Friedrich Nietzsche
So what I have learnt from the power of dancing? Confidence in Life and Networkingcan be learned; here are my top tips:
1. Learn to use your genetic confidence
I feel it’s something that is always there, something you’re born with that gets lost along the way, or stolen by others. Sometimes you have to dig deep to find it again.
–Amy Lee Tempest
When you were born you did not emerge unsure of your cry or insecure about your umbilical cord. You came out unaware of external judgment, concerned only with your own experience and needs. I’m not suggesting that you should be oblivious to other people. It is just that it may help to remember confidence was your original nature before time started chiseling away at it. When you start feeling unsure of yourself remember: we were all born with confidence, and we can all get it back if we learn to silence the thoughts that threaten it.
2. Success will happen, if you let it.
It might seem strange to say expect success since you can’t predict the future, although according to Peter Drucker, The best way to predict the future is invent it.
Conventional wisdom suggests you should expect the worst because then you won’t be disappointed if you fail and you’ll be pleasantly surprised if you succeed. Research suggests this isn’t universally true; pessimism can undermine your performance creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Find the successes in every day and you will notice over time that they increase.
3. The unknown is actually good.
Control is an illusion, you infantile egomaniac. Nobody knows what's gonna happen next: not on a freeway, not in an airplane, not inside our own bodies and certainly not on a racetrack with 40 other infantile egomaniacs.
-Nicole Kidman in Days of Thunder (playing Dr Claire Lewinski)
People often think confidence means knowing you can create the outcome you want. To some extent it does, but this idea is not universally true for everyone. Confidence comes from knowing your competence / skills and acknowledging it’s not solely responsible for creating your world. When you take that weight off your shoulders and realise that sometimes the twists and turns have nothing to do with what you did or should have done, it’s easier to feel confident in what you are trying to achieve. Networking becomes easier and you fear.
4. Learn to receive praise.
I had real problems with this; so many people were kind and congratulated me. I worked hard to say, thank you I appreciate that. And mean it (I really did).
If you don’t have any shadows, you’re not standing in the light.
-Lady Gaga
It’s amazing how easy it is to believe all the negative things people say and yet discredit the positive. Taking a compliment is an art. Sometimes, it’s instinctive to assume they’re just being nice or that maybe you aren’t really skilled—you just got lucky. Occasionally, this may be true, but for the most part you earn the praise you receive. Don’t talk yourself out of believing it. Instead, recycle it into confidence. You did a fantastic job on your project at work-that means you can do it again. You had an amazing performance-that means you can trust you’re talented. Other people want you to succeed; now you just have to believe them when they show you you’re worthy.
5. Practice will make you a star.
The harder you practice, the luckier you get.
-Gary Player (Golfer) 1964
Like anything else in life, your confidence will improve with practice. A great opportunity to do this is when you meet new people. Just like if you were the new kid in school, they have no idea who you are—meaning you have an opportunity to show them. As you shake their hand, introduce yourself, and listen to them speak, watch your internal monologue. If you start doubting yourself in your head, replace your thoughts with more confident ones. Ask yourself what a confident person would do, and then try to emulate that. Watch your posture and your tone. Hunching and mumbling will make you feel and look less confident, so stand up and speak slowly and clearly. People are more apt to see you how you want to be seen if they suspect you see yourself that way.
You may have confidence in some areas and not in others; that’s how it works for most of us. Draw from those areas where you’re self-assured. Above all, remember you are talented and a star waiting to shine. You have real ability regardless of what mistakes you think you may have made. Start by acknowledging it and it is the first step to believing it in your heart; believing it is the key to living it. Living it is the key to reaching your potential.
Now I would like you to try this:
Sing like no one is listening. Love like you’ve never been hurt.
Dance like nobody’s watching, and live like it’s heaven on earth
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